What Parents Can Do to Support Their Child's Friendships

Friends are a key part of any child's development, but parents need to play a role in order to ensure safe, successful friendships. Relationships with friends take on new meaning as a child grows and parents who take an active role in their child's early years can help lay some solid foundations.

Communication is at the heart of the role a parent plays in supporting friendships. Read on to learn what you can do.

1. Early years

From as early as the preschool years, parents need to be there and be available when their children play with others. This is the time to provide guidance and instruction on things like sharing and conflict resolution. It also gives you a window into how your child interacts with others, letting you see their strengths and areas that need work.

Shy children can warm up to social interactions with your help, while more confident children can be shown how to make space for quieter children. You can also guide your child on how to cope with frustration and anger without becoming verbally or physically aggressive.

2. Starting school

There is a belief that children need to figure things out for themselves, and sometimes this works. But friendship is a fine art and children need some support or at least a model to follow. Remember, different children have different social skills:

• Shy children need to learn how to overcome their fears and anxieties.
• A child with ADHD will need help with slowing down and filtering their thoughts.
• A physically active child must be shown how to control their emotions and avoid physical conflict.
• Children who have witnessed lots of anger, or even physical violence, may need help with managing frustration and empathising with others.

You should welcome your child's friend's into your home. Encourage them to accommodate any rules in your home and try to get to know that friend's personality to understand what your child is dealing with.

School, sports and club events are great opportunities to make friends. Try to be present even if your child asks you not to embarrass them and observe how they get on. Take the initiative in creating social plans but also emphasise the importance of family time.

3. Best friends

Children often identify a best friend - someone with whom they will take on new challenges and come up with ideas. It can be helpful to get to know your child's best friend's family and get a sense of what your child will get out of this friendship.

Remember these peer relationships are extremely important for learning empathy. The feelings your child will experience when a friendship results in disappointment or hurt can help them to understand the same feelings in others. Talking and listening skills will develop and resilience will be learned.

4. Final thoughts

You are likely to encounter the issue of negative peer influences, particularly during adolescence. Recognise that while peer influence can be negative, it can also be protective and supportive. Maintain open lines of communication with your child and look out for signs of vulnerability.

As a child gets older, their interests and activities will change. They may become part of a crowd and will likely take on a role in that. Your input and guidance through conversation will be valuable throughout these developments, and you can offer wisdom whenever your child has questions.

Overall, support good behaviours and encourage a culture of acceptance and positivity between friends. Befriending other parents from your child's social group can help you all get on the same page in supporting your children.